Right now I'm medicated and happy. Pains at a doable level. Life has moments that allow me to forget about reality. Time passes, fast or slow depending on what's what and who's in the room. It's coming that season... Christmas . Somalia 92, remember men ? Christmas Eve and no mail for months. Then it came. No, not by slay but a fast frigate... For us... at a war... closer to a war... Christmas came.
Sometimes, when I get bad between the ears I remember that night. The good and the bad. Good was no bake cookies and rum and tequila and vodka my marine father, hell of a dad hid in Evian water bottles. With pepperoni and sausage and cheese and crackers. Anthony Bullentini washed his hands till they were raw and sharpened his knife to near razor edge .
The bad, one of my dearest and most trusted shipmates received a letter from his fiancée that started by stating, Dear (name with held to protect the innocent) By the time you get this letter I'll be married. Good and bad in a moment we had all given up on. We had no Christmas planned everything coming in was food and arms and shit needed for the humanitarian effort.
But still he came... the spirit of Christmas... the thing that makes all things possible.... Things like a better tomorrow, a future, a friend, and a life worth living. Sorry, this broken squid still believes and wants loves and needs hope. She is my best friend and my worst enemy. She cuddles close on cold nights and steals all the pillows . Hope is a coy mistress that gives just enough for a tomorrow. Hope just hints at enough for an ever after ... Morphine makes me ramble. Let me just tell you that this is everything... what ever it is~ it is everything and the best thing about everything is that it changes...for the better, worse, average ,or not so much just changes are everything.
Today, I was in line with short man his scares told the story of war. We shared a bit about this or that. Easy to be honest with a fellow vet. there is a code that crosses hatred. Navy, Marine, Army, Air force... even bath tub boy scouts get love. For in those sacred walls of a VA hospital we are one man, one woman, every color , every sexuality, every religion or lack there of we are. So, we share deep, honest, and at times disturbing facts or feelings. Some simple sad thoughts even galvanized wishes or wants
How he had been blown up in Afghanistan and me and my cancer. We lined up for coffee, our turns coming our conversation drift from this to that. Towards the end I say to him," Sorry you got blown up." His responses ,"Sorry you got cancer." Then a voice from behind us. "Boys coffees are on me!" She paid... We thanked her and then she thanked us and then we went off in our different ways.... But still for that moment we where just us. Silly~ sailor and soldier . Enjoying some coffee chat who had long ago been far from home. Seen some things done some things. It was us and we not alone in a coffee line... at a VA hospital this close the season... Christmas is coming and we better watch out the man next to you may just need an ear or shoulder and maybe a free cup of JOE...
"Sometimes when I get bad between the ears I remember that night." I love that line. George, you're a miracle, a warrior in all senses of the word. You've made it through so much and even though it's hard, and it tears you down sometimes, you always get back up. Your valor and perseverance are something to be admired. You are loved and respected by many, including me. Happy holidays. <3
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